Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize