whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
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Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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