yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize