But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wish I could punch you in the face.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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