I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
How does it feel to date your dad?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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