Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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