apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize