Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize