my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think people are normalizing furries
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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