so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize