I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize