haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
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Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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