Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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