I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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