We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize