I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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