does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
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stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
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I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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