We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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