I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My feet surprised me
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