I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize