Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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