if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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