So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
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I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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