Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
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Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
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She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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