I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize