i need an iv and a liver transplant
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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