we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
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I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
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You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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