i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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