Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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