At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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