let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize