ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize