yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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