So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
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Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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