I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
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Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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