sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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