I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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