PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize