All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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