btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
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her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
that may or may not have been my penis.
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