Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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