how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize