My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize