Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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