ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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