Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize