Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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