Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize