apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You smell like stripper and shame
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
A bitchslap is in order.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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