he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
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Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
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It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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