Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
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Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
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Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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