u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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