my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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